This week, I’ve had to achieve the nearly impossible task of squashing my 85,000 word story into 22 words. Because apparently condensing a 312 page novel into a one page synopsis isn’t enough. And let me tell you, that alone was hard.
But 22 words? I never thought I could do it, I never wanted to do it and I’ve never tried to.
Why do authors need to complete this horrible task? After all, we’re writers and we love to ramble, hence why one page often turns to 100, 200, 300 and so on. It’s torturous to cut everything out that you’ve been crafting, squeeze out the essence, gut characters, lovable subplots and pretty settings. So why, why do we have to do this exercise? Well it’s simple really. Agents and publishers don’t always have time to read through hundreds of synopses. They need to know what your story is about in five seconds.
It’s called an elevator pitch. Meaning, if you can’t describe your story in the time that it takes an elevator to move up one floor, then you’ve lost the agent.
They’re also called loglines, pitches, hooks.
But whatever they’re called, I did it! And the publisher who read it loved it.
Our tutor gave us this format and it really helped me to think about my character’s motivation. If anything, this is why I loved this task. Having this pitch allowed to me feel more in control of my story and its purpose.
In order to overcome _________________ (Insert protagonist’s name) must _______________.
Um, it wasn’t so easy though. See my re-writes below, followed by the pitch I presented to the publisher.
#1- Online subscribers pay to view Annabelle live, twenty-four-seven. From her flat, she coaxes money out of voyeurs, watching her cook, bathe, even sleep. (This tells us nothing about the protagonist or what her motivations are)
#2- “In order to find out who murdered online influencer Annabelle, live in front of viewers, exemplary ex-detective Claire Fuller must overcome her own past traumas and use her body as bait to catch the killer.” (Too clumsy and wordy)
# 3“In order to discover why Jenny Clifford, a mother at school, was killed live on her private streaming site, exemplary ex-detective Claire Fuller must overcome the trauma of her own missing son and investigate why Jenny led an secret online life as the pseudonym, Annabelle.” (My god, I wouldn’t be able to breathe pitching this in an elevator)
# 4- ‘In order to find out who murdered online influencer Annabelle, live online, ex-detective Claire Fuller must overcome her past and use her body as bait to catch the killer.” (Still, this wasn’t essentially describing the whole plot)
# 5- ‘On-line subscribers pay to view Annabelle live; when she is murdered on screen, ex-detective, Claire Fuller, finds herself at the centre of a homicide case, pushing her to the limits and posing moral dilemmas that could jeopardise her life.’ (I really liked this, but It told us nothing about Claire my protagonist.)
Want to know what mine was? Okay. Drum roll…
A disgraced ex-detective must overcome her agoraphobia to hunt down the killer of an online influencer who gets murdered while live-streaming.
Pretty cool, huh? It sums my story up perfectly.
1)We get the character, what she’s like: “disgraced” ex-detective carries a lot of connotations.
2) Her personality and suffering from “agoraphobia” details her inner conflict.
3) Hunt down the killer: This is the centre of the plot.
4)Online influencer who gets murdered while live streaming. This is the hooky bit that makes the story unique and stand alone from other crime/thrillers.
All in 22 words! Of course, you’re not getting the other glorious details that I wish you could read about. You know nothing about Claire and her tumultuous marriage, her missing son, the bitchy mothers from school or the person who is stalking Claire while she pieces each puzzle together.
But it’s enough for an agent/publisher to go off. It’s enough to “hook” them in.
And then they read the synopsis. And then they read the partial. And then they request a full. And then they offer a contract.
Well, we can hope anyway.
Hope this blog has helped you with your pesky pitch.
Thanks for stopping by.
Holly
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